Is knowing how to flirt with girls, date, getting a girlfriend, hooking-up, all an instinct for males? ?

I'm referring to the overwhelming majority of guys out there that have a girlfriend or had one before, that slept with many girls in high school and college, the guys that have no problem getting a girl to date or a girlfriend, or to hook-up with a girl. Does it take practice to know how to talk to girls in order to start dating them and getting a girlfriend, and hooking up? Or do guys know how to talk to girls, to get a date or a girlfriend from day one? like do guys know how to ask a girl out, know when to ask her out, what to talk about, from day one? Is knowing how to flirt with girls, date, getting a girlfriend, hooking-up, all an instinct for males? ?
Absolutely not.





Some men are cultured and taught how to socialize and attract women from a young age. Maybe they had some as friends at a young age, or had a lot of sisters...or something else. As a result, they become very good at interacting with women. They're very aware of the difference between the sexes and what women really want as opposed to say what they say the want. Anxiety is a totally alien emotion when approaching the cute girl across the room.





Me? No one taught me a damn thing, so I read every book and article I could to better improve my socializing skills, make myself into a more attractive person, and get my head in the right places. It takes a good bit of work, but it is worth. Help is out there if you ever need it.





If you're interested, the most helpful book I've ever read back when I was really socially awkward was Neil Strauss's The Game. It sounds like a silly book from the description, but it's actually a very honest book filled with all kinds of wisdom and it inspired me to make my own transformation and read several other books along the same lines. You could also search for Bristol's Lair to find a website with a grab bag of advice.





I also did a lot of online dating since I really disliked the club scene. For a little while I was meeting about two new girls a week. Then I met my current girlfriend and we've been in a relationship for about a year now. In my own opinion, I've been very successfull in turning things around for myself.





I'm no Casanova; I've never wanted to be...but I think I have most of the girl/guy dating dynamics figured out. It really helps to take the heat off dating and even makes it enjoyable.





If you'd ever like to talk about it, feel free to send me a message. I might be in a relationship, but I still like giving advice to those still dating.





Cheers and good luck.





[EDIT]





Ah, a few more things. If nothing else, I'd like to leave with you some fundemental stuff you'll need to brush up on to become better with women.





First thing would be definition. You need to know who you are, where you stand, and what you like/dislike. And you need to wear it on your sleeve. Then you need to know how to advertise it. A big part of creating attraction in someone else for you is to know how to advertise YOU. You do this subtly...you make jokes, you inspire conversation, you wear stylish clothing, you make people around you comfortable, you show knowledge in many areas...you do all this without looking like you go out of your way to do it or appearing desperate.





For example, I'm an introvert, but I make it a point to talk to almost everyone. I joke with cashiers, I compliment people on their clothing, I ask strangers how their day is going...all the time. And it comes back to me. They begin to recognize me when I go shopping again, they smile when I walk into their restuarant, they know my name. Typically they compliment me on my fedora.





More importantly than that, you need to stop worrying about what they think of you and start creating WHAT they think of you. You need to know the very basics of attraction and how to instigate it. Easier said than done...but again, check out that book and website I mentioned.





Perhaps the most important thing to do, is to place the girl on the spot. It's probably drop dead obvious you're trying to prove yourself to women, and you need to stop. You need to make women prove themselves TO YOU. This is easier said than done. Ask qualifying questions like ';What are you most passionate about? What are your hobbies? If you could have any super power what would it be? Do you get along with your siblings?'; When a person starts answering questions such as this she's becomes placed in the mindset of someone trying to impress you. Now SHE'S the one whose nervous and you're the one with confidence.





There's a lot lot more to it all, but it all rests on just a few basic ideas. It's simple, but at the same time a bit much to all deliver on Yahoo Answers. Like I said, you may want to dive a bit deeper and then come back once you have some more specific questions.Is knowing how to flirt with girls, date, getting a girlfriend, hooking-up, all an instinct for males? ?
confidence means a lot!


as far as instinct? I say NO WAY.


not in this day and age anyway...
whow you talk to much


i didnt read all off that


but i think it only comes naturally to some men
no there are some guys that don't even know how to flirt or do any of that stuff
I'M GOING TO SAY BOTH SOME GUYS NEED PRACTICE ( THE NERVE ILL SAY) BUT SOME GUYS CAN JUST GO UP TO ANY GIRL AND TALK LIKE THEY KNOWN EACH OTHER, SO JUST GO DO WHAT YOU KNOW AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK,...( I WAS THE GUY THAT NEEDED PRACTICE AND NOW I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND)
I don't think so. I mean, even ';Romeos'; have made mistakes in trying to attract the attention of a woman. Ask around .. I'll bet every guy you know has made mistakes while trying to ';wooo'; a woman. Like everything else in life, it's a practiced skill, and takes time to perfect it .. and it's just that some have a tougher time in learning the skill than others do. :)
It is absolutely not instinctual for everyone. A big part of being able to get a girl like that is confidence. I'm sure you have realized that a lot of these guys that always seem to have a girl with them also have pretty big egos. Now this isn't always true but having a high opinion of yourself makes it much easier. Now someone like me and like you I am guessing who is very modest and at times down on themselves will have a much more difficult time getting up the courage to ask a girl on a date or whatever. Girls can tell when you don't have a very good opinion of yourself and it is definately a turn-off for most. The key here is to find a good place in between extreme arrogance and low self-esteem. These egotistical guys that just use women are garbage in my opinion and I would never want to be like that. I find going to the gym and volunteering up my confidence quite a bit and for good reason. It will take some rejection but eventually it gets easier to talk to girls about dating and such. Its all a maturation process that just takes longer for some.
Dude okay, I've read alot of your questions, and I'm disappointed. I'm not disappointed in the fact that your desperate; I'm disappointed in ';why'; you're desperate. You know what your problem is?





ALL YOU WANT IS SEX AND A HOT GIRL!!!





I cannot emphasize enough that these two things are NOT the important thing in the matter. Communicating, spending time, and simply doing the little things with the person of your dreams (not the person you think is hot and want to lose your virginity to the first chance you get) is what's important.





You seriously need to reevaluate your position and then think about dating. If girls knew this is what you thought of them, you would be bitc* slapped in the face.
Another day another ';question'; that is the same! Instead of sitting on your computer and asking the same thing day in and day out, get off of the computer and just go someplace and do something. Maybe then you wouldn't be so agitated.
Sorry I don't know I am not a guy so I wouldn't know!! I guess its just good luck! But I know from my school, cause I am just 16 %26amp; in 11th grade, that a lot of guy's just want girls or the hot one's cause they are horny for so action! And it goes the same way for most of the girls in my school! They are just to HORNY for their own good they don't understand that they don't need to have sex just to live, they will be perfectly fine without it!